Shop girls and Spam packs. 08.10.02.

Since arriving in Seoul I've become addicted to shopping. A day rarely passes when I don't venture out on one expedition or another. This addiction is mine alone, Heidi has not yet succumbed. For the sake of our financial future, I hope this remains the case. I'd like to talk you through some of my recent experiences.

Five minutes on foot from our apartment brings us to Sinchon Rotary, pronounced - 'Shin-chon Ro-ta-rae'. By day a traffic intersection, by night a glorious hive of activity dressed in neon. A huge plasma screen adorns one building, an oversized illuminated balloon another. Countless other signs scream their message over the frenzied swarm of consumers. This has very recently become my kind of place.

Grand Mart and Hyundai department stores are the two big draws. Without these my life would be very empty. Seoulites take shopping very seriously; at approximately 7pm, 11,000,000 of them hit the streets in search of the products that may just improve their lot in life. I am no different, and my first stop is usually Grand Mart. Grand Mart has 7 floors selling everything from can openers to trainers. My interest is limited to the basement and the basement 2. Subterranean shopping appeals to me very much. Especially when the two basements in question sell food.

The floors are cramped and the customers are stressed and crabby, but walk straight into one and they won't mind a bit. It's an inevitability that has been accepted; personal space isn’t as personal as we're used to and that's just the way it is. As well as all the customers every aisle has it's very own salesgirl promoting the weeks special offers. They're specially picked for their long thin legs (they wear mini-skirts), and their tender years (they look about 12 years old). They gesticulate wildly towards the special offers every time you make eye contact with them. I make eye contact with them frequently. Last week I bought a jar of Dolmio pasta sauce because there was a bottle of corn syrup attached. If anyone has any idea what you're supposed to do with corn syrup could you please let me know [I have since found out that you can make coca cola with it].

When both Heidi and myself visited the store for the first time we bought a gift-pack of instant coffee, two jars of coffee with his 'n' hers matching mini-mugs in blue and pink. I love those mugs, I really do. We bought an industrial sized tub of shampoo for about $10 because there was some conditioner attached. I even bought a jar of honey yesterday for $9 as there was a jar of honey attached. Excuse my use of dollars by the way but I've gotten (sic) used to them, and besides, there are no pound symbols on the keyboards over here. The one gift pack we won't be buying is the Spam pack: six cans of Spam in a big box with a ribbon wrapped around it. This little treat will set you back an astonishing $30 (that's 20 quid!). We would buy one for the comedy value, but $30 outstretches even that.

I had an exhilarating rush of blood to the head the other day, so decided to buy a stack of western treats for Heidi. Hyundai department store is even grander than Grand Mart, and the prices reflect the fact. I got her a bottle of balsamic vinegar ($6), raspberry jam ($4), lemon curd ($6) (kind of for me), vinaigrette dressing ($6) etc, etc.. until I had a $50 worth of food in a depressingly moderate sized bag. It was worth it as she was happy when she saw the little display of booty I arranged on the kitchen table.

Last Saturday I had my biggest shopping adventure yet. Yongsan Electronics Arcade. I got the subway (very easy and very cheap) and arrived in a typically ugly and run down sort of area. I couldn't see any 'arcade' so was immediately confused, I wasn't even sure what an arcade was. I followed the crowd and realized that it was everywhere. Every shop as far as you can see sells electronic devices of one description or another, 5000 of them in total. As an avid technophile and a discreetly avid star trek fan I nearly pissed myself with excitement. During the next four hours I managed to acquire a transformer (don't ask), an extension cable for my headphones, a novelty mouse with a fish floating inside it, two novelty lamps, an aquamarine videotape, a mobile phone and some spare light bulbs (just in case). I was in hogs heaven.

All of these purchases were made using sign language; even when Koreans know some English most of them are too shy to use it. I managed to get a mono - stereo adapter for my headphones by pointing at one ear and sticking my thumbs up, smiling and nodding enthusiastically, then pointing to the other and sticking them down with a forlorn expression. The mobile phone purchase took 2 hours of feverish gesturing, the man was endlessly patient and I am very grateful to him but I would like to urge him to pay more attention in English classes in his next life.

Throughout the arcade schoolgirls in miniskirts proffered gadgets to the hungry crowds. They were usually positioned in front of large speakers pumping out cheesy Korean pop. There was even a flea market the day I went, as if there wasn’t enough to choose from in all the shops. People were selling cheap VCDs, DVDs, computer games, memory chips etc., on the street. I was tempted to buy everything, having a couple of spare video cards around isn’t such a bad idea I rationalized. I may even buy a computer to put them in one day.

The only problem with this extraordinary place is that every shop sold the same items. After a few hours it dawned on me that I had seen everything. All the computers were Samsungs all the appliances were made by a few local brands and the priced weren’t any better than our local department store. The magic dissipated, I went home. The novelty of shopping is beginning to wear off.