hello,

i think it's 6am in england so you'll get this message in a few hours no doubt..

it's 2pm here (i'm still amazed by this whole time difference thing).. i've finally recovered from the jet lag, i've been a complete wreck since we arrived. on our first night here our boss told us we had lectures the next morning so needed to be at the university early. after a 25 hour day and a 14 hour flight this was disastrous news as i'm sure you can imagine (we thought we started next week).

the next two days were a bit of a blur. the students kept asking me the nature of the courses and i had absolutely nothing to tell them, not even a syllabus to show them. i kept apologizing telling them i had jet lag and was covered in mosquito bites, had never been to asia before and didn't know anything about anything. and the heat, jesus, it's so bloody hot, it's been in the late 80's with maximum humidity since we arrived. it's like a rainforest.

the first night we got here some friends of heidi's mum came to pick us up (this was a surprise as they had been told not to), they drove us to a city called ansang 1 hour away from seoul & fed us seaweed, fermented cabbage, bean paste, squid pancakes, and god knows what else. after the 25 hour day it was difficult to accept all this with much gusto. i did myself proud, by only putting minute portions on my plate 3 times, i think i convinced them that the meal was both hearty and to my tastes.

the next day passed quickly, blundering from one class to another apologizing for everything. i had a moment on the first day where i felt so utterly out of my depth i nearly burst into tears and ran out of the building. every now and again we would try to find somewhere to eat, point helplessly at the least revolting looking thing and clumsily slurp it up with chopsticks.

at the end of the day professor cheong (our boss) took heidi and i and 2 others out for beers. we were very dehydrated with the heat being so intense and were both arseholed after half an hour. that was great fun. it's moments like these that make everything else worthwhile. being in a foreign place with people you didn't know a few hours earlier, laughing, drinking, slowly being set at ease, there is no other feeling like it. it gives you a feeling of independence and strength, a feeling that you could do or be anything, it sends shivers down your spine. it also doesn't last.

after that short-lived glory we collapsed unconscious in the guest-house. that was around 9pm, at 1.30am i woke up, itching like a maniac. our room is infested with mosquitoes, in numbers i had previously not thought possible. as i write i have 3 bites on my hands, all of which are itching like bastards. i'm covered from head to foot in them, i even have 3 on my face. the first morning i killed 11. i bought an incense thingy yesterday to smoke them out and there were only 5 to kill this morning. i hate them, i really really hate them.

i finally slept well last night and feel almost human again. my last class went relatively well and my panic attacks are becoming more sporadic. i found out that i have a writing class on monday, like a real university level composition class and i don't know how i'm gonna pull that one off. the women who takes the other class is a real professor and a published writer. i'm going to accept it as an acting role, a challenge, i just need to give a convincing performance, it doesn't matter if there's nothing to back it up.

see you all, take care,
s&h