The calm before the storm

We spent the weekend relaxing, the heat wave ended and the weather was perfect, somewhere between 65 and 70, just how I like it. Heidi completed her last day at work on Saturday which meant I enjoyed my last alone time for 18 years. I’m not sure how I feel about this. Better not to feel. It is becoming increasingly difficult to block the inevitable from my mind. At work I am asked about the state of Heidi’s health every 22 seconds. What about me?! Forget Heidi, she’s fine, sat at home eating and reading and watching the TV. So she has elephantitus of the hands and feet, she is retaining more water than a melon and she is spherical? Minor complaints if you ask me.

The highlight of the weekend was discovering “24”. We were without TV when it first aired. We watched 9 episodes on Saturday and Sunday! It is insanely addictive. Heidi, in a very uncharacteristic move, suggested we watch it all night last night. I was tempted but my common sense kicked in reminding me I had to work today.

Friday night we went for a fancy meal. We never do this, but as we won’t be out for another 6 months we thought it made sense. Oh woe is us…

Last night we erected the ‘co-sleeper’; its 6 easy stages reached mind-crucifying levels of complexity. The cat loves the thing; it hides underneath and swipes at my legs every time I walk past. The co-sleeper attaches to our bed so the baby can be swiftly hoisted onto a breast and muzzled before daddy has his sleep disturbed. A fabulous invention.

I feel an ill-wind brewing. This could be the last week of our youth. Here is a picture of Heidi and friends yesterday afternoon. This could be Heidi’s last ever time with her friends and no baby… oh dear oh dear, what have we done…

sunny_day

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Don’t stress me out!

A few people have told me I should write more about my impending fatherhood. My very impending fatherhood indeed – any day now. I know I should be reading “How to be an A-Okay Pop” or creating cute mobiles made out of eggshells, but the truth is, I’d really rather not think about it.

When I do think about it I either can’t imagine it or have a mild panic attack. Yesterday this happened and I was nearly sick. My stake in this planet is about to go up exponentially, and I don’t want to dwell on it. I find it difficult enough worrying about myself; the mathematical consequence of worrying about someone else more than I worry about myself means I’ll spend over 100% of my life worrying. This is not only impossible, it also very worrying.

When parents tell me about the life changing wonders of parenthood I believe them. What they fail to remember is that they didn’t feel this way before their little preciouses were born! Consequently, by not thinking about it, I get to not worry for now and will get a nice surprise when he comes.

So; more on this subject after he is born. For now, I am thinking about gadgets and music. And curries and beer.

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